Can't Have
by The Cosmic Penguin
Summary: 'But instead, we had fallen in love. We were miserable right now. We were here at the border. We didn't have mates in our own clans. And for the love of StarClan, I still cared about her.' Dovewing/Tigerheart; oneshot.


Can't Have

A/N: First devle into the Warriors series-with a good reason, of course. Nobody seems to write about cats in the series anymore. It's all just about OCs. So I figured I'd have a go at actually writing about some of the cats that were actually in the books. I also decided that I would write about one of my favorite forbidden couples: Dovewing and Tigerheart. I know about 40% of readers don't like cross-clan romance, but I'm part of the 60% that does, so if you don't like, don't read. This story is pretty short; just warning you. I used the style where nobody's names are mentioned. I don't know why, but it seemed…_fitting,_ for some reason.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Warriors. If I did, I'd be gloating about it all over the internet.

Oh, and I suppose I could dedicate this to the FFN author Blossom the Cellist. She's kind enough to write stories for other peoples' birthdays, so I wrote one for hers. It's a day late, but whatever. It's the thought that counts, right?

Story time!

"What?"

The pale gray she-cat jumped in surprise. Then, when she saw me, turned her brilliant blue eyes to the forest floor. The mix of pine needles and leaf litter rustled quietly as she slid her fluffy paw among them in a circular pattern. To me, that pattern was a… reminder of my life right now-just going in circles.

It was _never_ supposed to be this way.

I was _never_ supposed to meet her.

I was _never_ supposed to care about her.

I was _never_ supposed to offend her.

I was _never_ supposed to love her.

That basically summed up the story of my love life.

I had no idea why. Why I had to meet her…or why I had to care about her…or why I had to offend her…or why I had to love her…or why I still _did_ love her.

Or why she was here at the borderline, where we had met before everything had gone wrong. It was almost like she was…_waiting_ for me there. But no, that was too good to be true. She had a mate, supposedly. That tom that I had seen as I left her camp. She accepted his comfort…and turned her back on me, never even shooting me a glance as I departed. The way I felt that day…it was weakness. But it wasn't like it mattered. I hid it. ShadowClan is one of—no, _the_ strongest clan in the forest. There was no room for weakness. Nobody found out—if they did, well…it wouldn't be pretty.

But it was so hard to push my feelings to the side. It was torment. And just as I had almost forgotten and the pain had almost healed, here she was at the border tonight to reopen the wounds I was desperately trying to keep closed.

I walked closer to her, all the while hoping that no other cats would be out here this late at night. I should have just turned around and pretended that she was never there, but it was too late for that now.

_Stupid love._

When I was only a few pawsteps away from her, she looked up. We locked eyes, each searching the other for some hope. My hope was that she still loved me. Her hope…well, I don't know.

Her sky blue eyes sparkled in the night; surprise, happiness, and confusion all evident. I could guess why she was surprised, and why she was confused, but happiness? That question evaded my reach. I searched further. Beyond those aforementioned emotions, there was something else; something that was more familiar to me than I ever wanted it to be.

Heartbreak.

Whether it was from me or that fur-brained fool, I'll never know. But I felt like fox dung; seeing that. It was my fault. I could blame it on her all I wanted; but it was my fault. All the misery I'd put both of us through was really because of me wanting something that wasn't right. If I hadn't started this all between us, then maybe we would've never fallen in love. I wouldn't be like this right now, and she wouldn't be here at the border. We'd both have mates in our own clans and everything would have been just perfect. We might not have even met at all.

But instead, we had fallen in love. We were miserable right now. She was here at the border. We didn't have mates in our own clans.

And for the love of StarClan, I still cared about her.

She finally broke our eye contact and stared down at the earthy ground once more. I quietly moved next to her and wrapped my tail around her. A soft, fluffy tail curled around me in return as she buried her face against me. I was surprised, of course, but I couldn't let that show. I couldn't let her know how I still loved her, but that didn't mean I couldn't wish for her to love me back.

I pushed my face into her fur and purred. Soon, her purring accompanied mine. This couldn't last forever, but I would enjoy it while I could.

After all, I still loved her. As much as I wished, nothing could change that.

And even after all the torture I'd gotten out of it, I wouldn't either.

Cheesy ending fails, but hey, I couldn't think of a decent ending. After all, I needed it to be close to 700 words for my convenience in rounding. Review please, and chow for now!


End file.
